Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
