I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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