i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
A+ Viking dick
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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