We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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