Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize