Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
