I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
