Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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