That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
