great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
