And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
