): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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