every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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