We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
