Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
