It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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