ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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