He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
she told me i tasted like america
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
