whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
