I swear she didn't look like that last week.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
