That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
