He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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