i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
