U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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