left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am available for nakedness
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
