so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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