Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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