when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
