we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You made out with two different species that night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
