So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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