fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
