apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
