I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i think i have herpe
just one?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
