apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A bitchslap is in order.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
