Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
