nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
