you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
