We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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