u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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