I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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