Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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