Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize