the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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