a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
