It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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