he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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