thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
