Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
