i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Can Purell be used as lube?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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