how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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