i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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