Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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