he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
