I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
