..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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