You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
