can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
