Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
