It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
