You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
