dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize