I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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