You're my little dorito
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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