I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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