..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
